Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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