I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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