I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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