There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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