Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
someone threw a dead crab at me
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
