is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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