I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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