she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
