Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I came so hard my ears popped.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize