Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
