The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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