if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
