Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the day after is always just damage control
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Vodka?
Forever.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
