Whoa Z and x make the same sound
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
