Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
