Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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