There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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