his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
