Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
