She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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