best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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