I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
