butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
