how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
