so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
