Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
