his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He better not be in your backpack
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
