i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
