I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
