i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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