Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
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Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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