Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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