Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
ugly people sure do ruin things
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
