He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The air taste purple.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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