we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
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you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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