i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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