I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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