Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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