i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
