No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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