Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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