UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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