I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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