Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
