He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
