Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
