im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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