is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
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Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
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you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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