and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
