We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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