Christians are straight up FREAKS
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
