sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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