Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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