At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
