2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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