I want to walk on stilts...naked
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
