I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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